Katherine
Mansfield
[Kathleen
Beauchamp]
THE
GARDEN PARTY
CONTENTS
3.
The Daughters of the Late Colonel Very early
morning. The sun was not yet risen, and the whole of Crescent
Bay was
hidden under a white sea-mist. The big bush-covered hills at
the
back were
smothered. You could not see where they ended and the paddocks
and
bungalows began. The sandy road was gone and the paddocks and
bungalows
the other side of it; there were no white dunes covered with
reddish
grass beyond them; there was nothing to mark which was beach and
where was
the sea. A heavy dew had fallen. The grass was blue.
Big drops
hung on
the bushes and just did not fall; the silvery, fluffy toi-toi was
limp on
its long stalks, and all the marigolds and the pinks in the
bungalow
gardens were bowed to the earth with wetness. Drenched were the
cold
fuchsias, round pearls of dew lay on the flat nasturtium leaves.
It
looked as
though the sea had beaten up softly in the darkness, as though
one
immense wave had come rippling, rippling--how far? Perhaps if
you had
waked up
in the middle of the night you might have seen a big fish flicking
in at the
window and gone again... Ah-Aah!
sounded the sleepy sea. And from the bush there came the sound
of
little
streams flowing, quickly, lightly, slipping between the smooth
stones,
gushing into ferny basins and out again; and there was the
splashing
of big drops on large leaves, and something else--what was it?--a
faint
stirring and shaking, the snapping of a twig and then such silence
that it
seemed some one was listening. Round the
corner of Crescent Bay, between the piled-up masses of broken
rock, a
flock of sheep came pattering. They were huddled together, a
small,
tossing, woolly mass, and their thin, stick-like legs trotted along
quickly as
if the cold and the quiet had frightened them. Behind them an
old
sheep-dog, his soaking paws covered with sand, ran along with his
nose
to the
ground, but carelessly, as if thinking of something else. And
then
in the
rocky gateway the shepherd himself appeared. He was a lean,
upright
old man,
in a frieze coat that was covered with a web of tiny drops, velvet
trousers
tied under the knee, and a wide-awake with a folded blue
handkerchief
round the brim. One hand was crammed into his belt, the other
grasped a
beautifully smooth yellow stick. And as he walked, taking his
time, he
kept up a very soft light whistling, an airy, far-away fluting
that
sounded mournful and tender. The old dog cut an ancient caper
or two
and then
drew up sharp, ashamed of his levity, and walked a few dignified
paces by
his master's side. The sheep ran forward in little pattering
rushes;
they began to bleat, and ghostly flocks and herds answered them
from under
the sea. "Baa! Baaa!" For a time they
seemed to be always on
the same
piece of ground. There ahead was stretched the sandy road with
shallow
puddles; the same soaking bushes showed on either side and the same
shadowy
palings. Then something immense came into view; an enormous
shock-
haired
giant with his arms stretched out. It was the big gum-tree
outside
Mrs.
Stubbs' shop, and as they passed by there was a strong whiff of
eucalyptus.
And now big spots of light gleamed in the mist. The shepherd
stopped
whistling; he rubbed his red nose and wet beard on his wet sleeve
and,
screwing up his eyes, glanced in the direction of the sea. The
sun
was
rising. It was marvellous how quickly the mist thinned, sped
away,
dissolved
from the shallow plain, rolled up from the bush and was gone as
if in a
hurry to escape; big twists and curls jostled and shouldered each
other as
the silvery beams broadened. The far-away sky--a bright, pure
blue--was
reflected in the puddles, and the drops, swimming along the
telegraph
poles, flashed into points of light. Now the leaping,
glittering
sea was so
bright it made one's eyes ache to look at it. The shepherd drew
a pipe,
the bowl as small as an acorn, out of his breast pocket, fumbled
for a
chunk of speckled tobacco, pared off a few shavings and stuffed the
bowl.
He was a grave, fine-looking old man. As he lit up and the blue
smoke
wreathed his head, the dog, watching, looked proud of him. "Baa!
Baaa!" The sheep spread out into a fan. They were
just clear of
the summer
colony before the first sleeper turned over and lifted a drowsy
head;
their cry sounded in the dreams of little children...who lifted their
arms to
drag down, to cuddle the darling little woolly lambs of sleep.
Then the
first inhabitant appeared; it was the Burnells' cat Florrie,
sitting on
the gatepost, far too early as usual, looking for their milk-
girl.
When she saw the old sheep-dog she sprang up quickly, arched her
back, drew
in her tabby head, and seemed to give a little fastidious
shiver.
"Ugh! What a coarse, revolting creature!" said
Florrie. But the
old
sheep-dog, not looking up, waggled past, flinging out his legs from
side to
side. Only one of his ears twitched to prove that he saw, and
thought
her a silly young female. The breeze
of morning lifted in the bush and the smell of leaves and wet
black
earth mingled with the sharp smell of the sea. Myriads of birds
were
singing.
A goldfinch flew over the shepherd's head and, perching on the
tiptop of
a spray, it turned to the sun, ruffling its small breast
feathers.
And now they had passed the fisherman's hut, passed the charred-
looking
little whare where Leila the milk-girl lived with her old Gran.
The sheep
strayed over a yellow swamp and Wag, the sheep-dog, padded after,
rounded
them up and headed them for the steeper, narrower rocky pass that
led out of
Crescent Bay and towards Daylight Cove. "Baa! Baa!"
Faint the
cry came
as they rocked along the fast-drying road. The shepherd put
away
his pipe,
dropping it into his breast-pocket so that the little bowl hung
over.
And straightway the soft airy whistling began again. Wag ran
out
along a
ledge of rock after something that smelled, and ran back again
disgusted.
Then pushing, nudging, hurrying, the sheep rounded the bend and
the
shepherd followed after out of sight.
1.II. A few
moments later the back door of one of the bungalows opened, and a
figure in
a broad-striped bathing suit flung down the paddock, cleared the
stile,
rushed through the tussock grass into the hollow, staggered up the
sandy
hillock, and raced for dear life over the big porous stones, over the
cold, wet
pebbles, on to the hard sand that gleamed like oil. Splish-
Splosh!
Splish-Splosh! The water bubbled round his legs as Stanley
Burnell
waded out exulting. First man in as usual! He'd beaten
them all
again.
And he swooped down to souse his head and neck. "Hail,
brother! All hail, Thou Mighty One!" A velvety bass
voice came
booming
over the water. Great
Scott! Damnation take it! Stanley lifted up to see a dark
head
bobbing
far out and an arm lifted. It was Jonathan Trout--there before
him!
"Glorious morning!" sang the voice. "Yes,
very fine!" said Stanley briefly. Why the dickens didn't
the fellow
stick to
his part of the sea? Why should he come barging over to this
exact
spot? Stanley gave a kick, a lunge and struck out, swimming
overarm.
But
Jonathan was a match for him. Up he came, his black hair sleek
on his
forehead,
his short beard sleek. "I
had an extraordinary dream last night!" he shouted. What was
the matter with the man? This mania for conversation irritated
Stanley
beyond words. And it was always the same--always some piffle
about
a dream
he'd had, or some cranky idea he'd got hold of, or some rot he'd
been
reading. Stanley turned over on his back and kicked with his
legs
till he
was a living waterspout. But even then..."I dreamed I was
hanging
over a
terrifically high cliff, shouting to some one below." You
would be!
thought
Stanley. He could stick no more of it. He stopped
splashing.
"Look
here, Trout," he said, "I'm in rather a hurry this
morning." "You're
WHAT?" Jonathan was so surprised--or pretended to be--that
he sank
under the
water, then reappeared again blowing. "All
I mean is," said Stanley, "I've no time to--to--to fool
about. I want
to get
this over. I'm in a hurry. I've work to do this
morning--see?" Jonathan
was gone before Stanley had finished. "Pass, friend!"
said the
bass voice
gently, and he slid away through the water with scarcely a
ripple...But
curse the fellow! He'd ruined Stanley's bathe. What an
unpractical
idiot the man was! Stanley struck out to sea again, and then
as quickly
swam in again, and away he rushed up the beach. He felt
cheated. Jonathan
stayed a little longer in the water. He floated, gently moving
his hands
like fins, and letting the sea rock his long, skinny body. It
was
curious, but in spite of everything he was fond of Stanley Burnell.
True, he
had a fiendish desire to tease him sometimes, to poke fun at him,
but at
bottom he was sorry for the fellow. There was something
pathetic in
his
determination to make a job of everything. You couldn't help
feeling
he'd be
caught out one day, and then what an almighty cropper he'd come!
At that
moment an immense wave lifted Jonathan, rode past him, and broke
along the
beach with a joyful sound. What a beauty! And now there
came
another.
That was the way to live--carelessly, recklessly, spending
oneself.
He got on to his feet and began to wade towards the shore,
pressing
his toes into the firm, wrinkled sand. To take things easy, not
to fight
against the ebb and flow of life, but to give way to it--that was
what was
needed. It was this tension that was all wrong. To
live--to
live!
And the perfect morning, so fresh and fair, basking in the light, as
though
laughing at its own beauty, seemed to whisper, "Why not?" But now he
was out of the water Jonathan turned blue with cold. He ached
all over;
it was as though some one was wringing the blood out of him.
And
stalking
up the beach, shivering, all his muscles tight, he too felt his
bathe was
spoilt. He'd stayed in too long.
1.III. Beryl was
alone in the living-room when Stanley appeared, wearing a blue
serge
suit, a stiff collar and a spotted tie. He looked almost
uncannily
clean and
brushed; he was going to town for the day. Dropping into his
chair, he
pulled out his watch and put it beside his plate. "I've
just got twenty-five minutes," he said. "You might go
and see if the
porridge
is ready, Beryl?" "Mother's
just gone for it," said Beryl. She sat down at the table
and
poured out
his tea. "Thanks!"
Stanley took a sip. "Hallo!" he said in an astonished
voice,
"you've
forgotten the sugar." "Oh,
sorry!" But even then Beryl didn't help him; she pushed
the basin
across.
What did this mean? As Stanley helped himself his blue eyes
widened;
they seemed to quiver. He shot a quick glance at his sister-in-
law and
leaned back. "Nothing
wrong, is there?" he asked carelessly, fingering his collar. Beryl's
head was bent; she turned her plate in her fingers. "Nothing,"
said her light voice. Then she too looked up, and smiled at
Stanley.
"Why should there be?" "O-oh!
No reason at all as far as I know. I thought you seemed
rather--"
At that
moment the door opened and the three little girls appeared, each
carrying a
porridge plate. They were dressed alike in blue jerseys and
knickers;
their brown legs were bare, and each had her hair plaited and
pinned up
in what was called a horse's tail. Behind them came Mrs.
Fairfield
with the tray. "Carefully,
children," she warned. But they were taking the very
greatest
care.
They loved being allowed to carry things. "Have you said
good
morning to
your father?" "Yes,
grandma." They settled themselves on the bench opposite
Stanley and
Beryl. "Good
morning, Stanley!" Old Mrs. Fairfield gave him his plate. "Morning,
mother! How's the boy?" "Splendid!
He only woke up once last night. What a perfect morning!"
The
old woman
paused, her hand on the loaf of bread, to gaze out of the open
door into
the garden. The sea sounded. Through the wide-open window
streamed
the sun on to the yellow varnished walls and bare floor.
Everything
on the table flashed and glittered. In the middle there was an
old salad
bowl filled with yellow and red nasturtiums. She smiled, and a
look of
deep content shone in her eyes. "You
might cut me a slice of that bread, mother," said Stanley.
"I've only
twelve and
a half minutes before the coach passes. Has anyone given my
shoes to
the servant girl?" "Yes,
they're ready for you." Mrs. Fairfield was quite
unruffled. "Oh,
Kezia! Why are you such a messy child!" cried Beryl
despairingly. "Me,
Aunt Beryl?" Kezia stared at her. What had she done
now? She had
only dug a
river down the middle of her porridge, filled it, and was eating
the banks
away. But she did that every single morning, and no one had
said
a word up
till now. "Why
can't you eat your food properly like Isabel and Lottie?"
How unfair
grown-ups
are! "But
Lottie always makes a floating island, don't you, Lottie?" "I
don't," said Isabel smartly. "I just sprinkle mine
with sugar and put
on the
milk and finish it. Only babies play with their food." Stanley
pushed back his chair and got up. "Would
you get me those shoes, mother? And, Beryl, if you've finished,
I
wish you'd
cut down to the gate and stop the coach. Run in to your mother,
Isabel,
and ask her where my bowler hat's been put. Wait a minute--have
you
children been playing with my stick?" "No,
father!" "But
I put it here." Stanley began to bluster. "I
remember distinctly
putting it
in this corner. Now, who's had it? There's no time to
lose.
Look
sharp! The stick's got to be found." Even
Alice, the servant-girl, was drawn into the chase. "You
haven't been
using it
to poke the kitchen fire with by any chance?" Stanley
dashed into the bedroom where Linda was lying. "Most
extraordinary
thing.
I can't keep a single possession to myself. They've made away
with
my stick,
now!" "Stick,
dear? What stick?" Linda's vagueness on these
occasions could not
be real,
Stanley decided. Would nobody sympathize with him? "Coach!
Coach, Stanley!" Beryl's voice cried from the gate. Stanley
waved his arm to Linda. "No time to say good-bye!" he
cried. And
he meant
that as a punishment to her. He
snatched his bowler hat, dashed out of the house, and swung down the
garden
path. Yes, the coach was there waiting, and Beryl, leaning over
the
open gate,
was laughing up at somebody or other just as if nothing had
happened.
The heartlessness of women! The way they took it for granted it
was your
job to slave away for them while they didn't even take the trouble
to see
that your walking-stick wasn't lost. Kelly trailed his whip
across
the
horses. "Good-bye,
Stanley," called Beryl, sweetly and gaily. It was easy
enough
to say
good-bye! And there she stood, idle, shading her eyes with her
hand.
The worst of it was Stanley had to shout good-bye too, for the sake
of
appearances. Then he saw her turn, give a little skip and run
back to
the
house. She was glad to be rid of him! Yes, she
was thankful. Into the living-room she ran and called "He's
gone!"
Linda cried from her room: "Beryl! Has Stanley
gone?" Old Mrs.
Fairfield
appeared, carrying the boy in his little flannel coatee. "Gone?" "Gone!" Oh, the
relief, the difference it made to have the man out of the house.
Their very
voices were changed as they called to one another; they sounded
warm and
loving and as if they shared a secret. Beryl went over to the
table.
"Have another cup of tea, mother. It's still hot."
She wanted,
somehow,
to celebrate the fact that they could do what they liked now.
There was
no man to disturb them; the whole perfect day was theirs. "No,
thank you, child," said old Mrs. Fairfield, but the way at that
moment
she tossed
the boy up and said "a-goos-a-goos-a-ga!" to him meant that
she
felt the
same. The little girls ran into the paddock like chickens let
out
of a coop. Even
Alice, the servant-girl, washing up the dishes in the kitchen, caught
the
infection and used the precious tank water in a perfectly reckless
fashion. "Oh,
these men!" said she, and she plunged the teapot into the bowl
and
held it
under the water even after it had stopped bubbling, as if it too
was a man
and drowning was too good for them.
1.IV. "Wait
for me, Isa-bel! Kezia, wait for me!" There was
poor little Lottie, left behind again, because she found it so
fearfully
hard to get over the stile by herself. When she stood on the
first step
her knees began to wobble; she grasped the post. Then you had
to put one
leg over. But which leg? She never could decide.
And when she
did
finally put one leg over with a sort of stamp of despair--then the
feeling
was awful. She was half in the paddock still and half in the
tussock
grass. She clutched the post desperately and lifted up her
voice.
"Wait
for me!" "No,
don't you wait for her, Kezia!" said Isabel. "She's
such a little
silly.
She's always making a fuss. Come on!" And she tugged
Kezia's
jersey.
"You can use my bucket if you come with me," she said
kindly.
"It's
bigger than yours." But Kezia couldn't leave Lottie all by
herself.
She ran
back to her. By this time Lottie was very red in the face and
breathing
heavily. "Here,
put your other foot over," said Kezia. "Where?" Lottie
looked down at Kezia as if from a mountain height. "Here
where my hand is." Kezia patted the place. "Oh,
there do you mean!" Lottie gave a deep sigh and put the
second foot
over. "Now--sort
of turn round and sit down and slide," said Kezia. "But
there's nothing to sit down on, Kezia," said Lottie. She
managed it at last, and once it was over she shook herself and began
to
beam. "I'm
getting better at climbing over stiles, aren't I, Kezia?" Lottie's
was a very hopeful nature. The pink
and the blue sunbonnet followed Isabel's bright red sunbonnet up
that
sliding, slipping hill. At the top they paused to decide where
to go
and to
have a good stare at who was there already. Seen from behind,
standing
against the skyline, gesticulating largely with their spades, they
looked
like minute puzzled explorers. The whole
family of Samuel Josephs was there already with their lady-help,
who sat on
a camp-stool and kept order with a whistle that she wore tied
round her
neck, and a small cane with which she directed operations. The
Samuel
Josephs never played by themselves or managed their own game.
If
they did,
it ended in the boys pouring water down the girls' necks or the
girls
trying to put little black crabs into the boys' pockets. So
Mrs. S.
J. and the
poor lady-help drew up what she called a "brogramme" every
morning to
keep them "abused and out of bischief." It was all
competitions
or races
or round games. Everything began with a piercing blast of the
lady-help's
whistle and ended with another. There were even prizes--large,
rather
dirty paper parcels which the lady-help with a sour little smile
drew out
of a bulging string kit. The Samuel Josephs fought fearfully
for
the prizes
and cheated and pinched one another's arms--they were all expert
pinchers.
The only time the Burnell children ever played with them Kezia
had got a
prize, and when she undid three bits of paper she found a very
small
rusty button-hook. She couldn't understand why they made such a
fuss... But they
never played with the Samuel Josephs now or even went to their
parties.
The Samuel Josephs were always giving children's parties at the
Bay and
there was always the same food. A big washhand basin of very
brown
fruit-salad,
buns cut into four and a washhand jug full of something the
lady-help
called "Limonadear." And you went away in the evening
with half
the frill
torn off your frock or something spilled all down the front of
your
open-work pinafore, leaving the Samuel Josephs leaping like savages
on
their
lawn. No! They were too awful. On the
other side of the beach, close down to the water, two little boys,
their
knickers rolled up, twinkled like spiders. One was digging, the
other
pattered in and out of the water, filling a small bucket. They
were
the Trout
boys, Pip and Rags. But Pip was so busy digging and Rags was so
busy
helping that they didn't see their little cousins until they were
quite
close. "Look!"
said Pip. "Look what I've discovered." And he
showed them an old
wet,
squashed-looking boot. The three little girls stared. "Whatever
are you going to do with it?" asked Kezia. "Keep
it, of course!" Pip was very scornful. "It's a
find--see?" Yes, Kezia
saw that. All the same... "There's
lots of things buried in the sand," explained Pip. "They
get
chucked up
from wrecks. Treasure. Why--you might find--"
"But
why does Rags have to keep on pouring water in?" asked Lottie. "Oh,
that's to moisten it," said Pip, "to make the work a bit
easier. Keep
it up,
Rags." And good
little Rags ran up and down, pouring in the water that turned
brown like
cocoa. "Here,
shall I show you what I found yesterday?" said Pip mysteriously,
and
he stuck
his spade into the sand. "Promise not to tell." They
promised. "Say,
cross my heart straight dinkum." The little
girls said it. Pip took
something out of his pocket, rubbed it a long time on the front of
his
jersey, then breathed on it and rubbed it again. "Now
turn round!" he ordered. They
turned round. "All
look the same way! Keep still! Now!" And his
hand opened; he held up to the light something that flashed, that
winked,
that was a most lovely green. "It's
a nemeral," said Pip solemnly. "Is
it really, Pip?" Even Isabel was impressed. The lovely
green thing seemed to dance in Pip's fingers. Aunt Beryl had a
nemeral in
a ring, but it was a very small one. This one was as big as a
star and
far more beautiful.
1.V. As the
morning lengthened whole parties appeared over the sand-hills and
came down
on the beach to bathe. It was understood that at eleven o'clock
the women
and children of the summer colony had the sea to themselves.
First the
women undressed, pulled on their bathing dresses and covered
their
heads in hideous caps like sponge bags; then the children were
unbuttoned.
The beach was strewn with little heaps of clothes and shoes;
the big
summer hats, with stones on them to keep them from blowing away,
looked
like immense shells. It was strange that even the sea seemed to
sound
differently when all those leaping, laughing figures ran into the
waves.
Old Mrs. Fairfield, in a lilac cotton dress and a black hat tied
under the
chin, gathered her little brood and got them ready. The little
Trout boys
whipped their shirts over their heads, and away the five sped,
while
their grandma sat with one hand in her knitting-bag ready to draw out
the ball
of wool when she was satisfied they were safely in. The firm
compact little girls were not half so brave as the tender,
delicate-looking
little boys. Pip and Rags, shivering, crouching down,
slapping
the water, never hesitated. But Isabel, who could swim twelve
strokes,
and Kezia, who could nearly swim eight, only followed on the
strict
understanding they were not to be splashed. As for Lottie, she
didn't
follow at all. She liked to be left to go in her own way,
please.
And that
way was to sit down at the edge of the water, her legs straight,
her knees
pressed together, and to make vague motions with her arms as if
she
expected to be wafted out to sea. But when a bigger wave than
usual,
an old
whiskery one, came lolloping along in her direction, she scrambled
to her
feet with a face of horror and flew up the beach again. "Here,
mother, keep those for me, will you?" Two rings
and a thin gold chain were dropped into Mrs Fairfield's lap. "Yes,
dear. But aren't you going to bathe here?" "No-o,"
Beryl drawled. She sounded vague. "I'm undressing
farther along.
I'm going
to bathe with Mrs. Harry Kember." "Very
well." But Mrs. Fairfield's lips set. She
disapproved of Mrs Harry
Kember.
Beryl knew it. Poor old
mother, she smiled, as she skimmed over the stones. Poor old
mother!
Old! Oh, what joy, what bliss it was to be young... "You
look very pleased," said Mrs. Harry Kember. She sat
hunched up on the
stones,
her arms round her knees, smoking. "It's
such a lovely day," said Beryl, smiling down at her. "Oh
my dear!" Mrs. Harry Kember's voice sounded as though she
knew better
than
that. But then her voice always sounded as though she knew
something
better
about you than you did yourself. She was a long,
strange-looking
woman with
narrow hands and feet. Her face, too, was long and narrow and
exhausted-looking;
even her fair curled fringe looked burnt out and
withered.
She was the only woman at the Bay who smoked, and she smoked
incessantly,
keeping the cigarette between her lips while she talked, and
only
taking it out when the ash was so long you could not understand why
it
did not
fall. When she was not playing bridge--she played bridge every
day
of her
life--she spent her time lying in the full glare of the sun.
She
could
stand any amount of it; she never had enough. All the same, it
did
not seem
to warm her. Parched, withered, cold, she lay stretched on the
stones
like a piece of tossed-up driftwood. The women at the Bay
thought
she was
very, very fast. Her lack of vanity, her slang, the way she
treated
men as though she was one of them, and the fact that she didn't
care
twopence about her house and called the servant Gladys "Glad-eyes,"
was
disgraceful. Standing on the veranda steps Mrs. Kember would
call in
her
indifferent, tired voice, "I say, Glad-eyes, you might heave me
a
handkerchief
if I've got one, will you?" And Glad-eyes, a red bow in
her
hair
instead of a cap, and white shoes, came running with an impudent
smile.
It was an absolute scandal! True, she had no children, and her
husband...Here
the voices were always raised; they became fervent. How can
he have
married her? How can he, how can he? It must have been
money, of
course,
but even then! Mrs.
Kember's husband was at least ten years younger than she was, and so
incredibly
handsome that he looked like a mask or a most perfect
illustration
in an American novel rather than a man. Black hair, dark blue
eyes, red
lips, a slow sleepy smile, a fine tennis player, a perfect
dancer,
and with it all a mystery. Harry Kember was like a man walking
in
his
sleep. Men couldn't stand him, they couldn't get a word out of
the
chap; he
ignored his wife just as she ignored him. How did he live?
Of
course
there were stories, but such stories! They simply couldn't be
told.
The women
he'd been seen with, the places he'd been seen in...but nothing
was ever
certain, nothing definite. Some of the women at the Bay
privately
thought
he'd commit a murder one day. Yes, even while they talked to
Mrs.
Kember and
took in the awful concoction she was wearing, they saw her,
stretched
as she lay on the beach; but cold, bloody, and still with a
cigarette
stuck in the corner of her mouth. Mrs.
Kember rose, yawned, unsnapped her belt buckle, and tugged at the
tape
of her
blouse. And Beryl stepped out of her skirt and shed her jersey,
and
stood up
in her short white petticoat, and her camisole with ribbon bows on
the
shoulders. "Mercy
on us," said Mrs. Harry Kember, "what a little beauty you
are!" "Don't!"
said Beryl softly; but, drawing off one stocking and then the
other, she
felt a little beauty. "My
dear--why not?" said Mrs. Harry Kember, stamping on her own
petticoat.
Really--her
underclothes! A pair of blue cotton knickers and a linen
bodice
that reminded one somehow of a pillow-case..."And you don't wear
stays, do
you?" She touched Beryl's waist, and Beryl sprang away
with a
small
affected cry. Then "Never!" she said firmly.
"Lucky
little creature," sighed Mrs. Kember, unfastening her own. Beryl
turned her back and began the complicated movements of some one who
is trying
to take off her clothes and to pull on her bathing-dress all at
one and
the same time. "Oh,
my dear--don't mind me," said Mrs. Harry Kember. "Why
be shy? I
shan't eat
you. I shan't be shocked like those other ninnies."
And she
gave her
strange neighing laugh and grimaced at the other women. But Beryl
was shy. She never undressed in front of anybody. Was
that
silly?
Mrs. Harry Kember made her feel it was silly, even something to be
ashamed
of. Why be shy indeed! She glanced quickly at her friend
standing
so boldly
in her torn chemise and lighting a fresh cigarette; and a quick,
bold, evil
feeling started up in her breast. Laughing recklessly, she drew
on the
limp, sandy-feeling bathing-dress that was not quite dry and
fastened
the twisted buttons. "That's
better," said Mrs. Harry Kember. They began to go down the
beach
together.
"Really, it's a sin for you to wear clothes, my dear.
Somebody's
got to tell you some day." The water
was quite warm. It was that marvellous transparent blue,
flecked
with
silver, but the sand at the bottom looked gold; when you kicked with
your toes
there rose a little puff of gold-dust. Now the waves just
reached
her breast. Beryl stood, her arms outstretched, gazing out, and
as
each wave
came she gave the slightest little jump, so that it seemed it was
the wave
which lifted her so gently. "I
believe in pretty girls having a good time," said Mrs. Harry
Kember.
"Why
not? Don't you make a mistake, my dear. Enjoy yourself."
And
suddenly
she turned turtle, disappeared, and swam away quickly, quickly,
like a
rat. Then she flicked round and began swimming back. She
was going
to say
something else. Beryl felt that she was being poisoned by this
cold
woman, but
she longed to hear. But oh, how strange, how horrible! As
Mrs.
Harry
Kember came up close she looked, in her black waterproof bathing-cap,
with her
sleepy face lifted above the water, just her chin touching, like a
horrible
caricature of her husband.
1.VI. In a
steamer chair, under a manuka tree that grew in the middle of the
front
grass patch, Linda Burnell dreamed the morning away. She did
nothing.
She looked up at the dark, close, dry leaves of the manuka, at
the chinks
of blue between, and now and again a tiny yellowish flower
dropped on
her. Pretty--yes, if you held one of those flowers on the palm
of your
hand and looked at it closely, it was an exquisite small thing.
Each pale
yellow petal shone as if each was the careful work of a loving
hand.
The tiny tongue in the centre gave it the shape of a bell. And
when
you turned
it over the outside was a deep bronze colour. But as soon as
they
flowered, they fell and were scattered. You brushed them off
your
frock as
you talked; the horrid little things got caught in one's hair.
Why, then,
flower at all? Who takes the trouble--or the joy--to make all
these
things that are wasted, wasted...It was uncanny. On the
grass beside her, lying between two pillows, was the boy. Sound
asleep he
lay, his head turned away from his mother. His fine dark hair
looked
more like a shadow than like real hair, but his ear was a bright,
deep
coral. Linda clasped her hands above her head and crossed her
feet.
It was
very pleasant to know that all these bungalows were empty, that
everybody
was down on the beach, out of sight, out of hearing. She had
the
garden to
herself; she was alone. Dazzling
white the picotees shone; the golden-eyed marigold glittered; the
nasturtiums
wreathed the veranda poles in green and gold flame. If only
one had
time to look at these flowers long enough, time to get over the
sense of
novelty and strangeness, time to know them! But as soon as one
paused to
part the petals, to discover the under-side of the leaf, along
came Life
and one was swept away. And, lying in her cane chair, Linda
felt
so light;
she felt like a leaf. Along came Life like a wind and she was
seized and
shaken; she had to go. Oh dear, would it always be so?
Was
there no
escape? ...Now she
sat on the veranda of their Tasmanian home, leaning against her
father's
knee. And he promised, "As soon as you and I are old
enough,
Linny,
we'll cut off somewhere, we'll escape. Two boys together.
I have a
fancy I'd
like to sail up a river in China." Linda saw that river,
very
wide,
covered with little rafts and boats. She saw the yellow hats of
the
boatmen
and she heard their high, thin voices as they called... "Yes,
papa." But just
then a very broad young man with bright ginger hair walked slowly
past their
house, and slowly, solemnly even, uncovered. Linda's father
pulled her
ear teasingly, in the way he had. "Linny's
beau," he whispered. "Oh,
papa, fancy being married to Stanley Burnell!" Well, she
was married to him. And what was more she loved him. Not
the
Stanley
whom every one saw, not the everyday one; but a timid, sensitive,
innocent
Stanley who knelt down every night to say his prayers, and who
longed to
be good. Stanley was simple. If he believed in people--as
he
believed
in her, for instance--it was with his whole heart. He could not
be
disloyal; he could not tell a lie. And how terribly he suffered
if he
thought
any one--she--was not being dead straight, dead sincere with him!
"This
is too subtle for me!" He flung out the words, but his
open,
quivering,
distraught look was like the look of a trapped beast. But the
trouble was--here Linda felt almost inclined to laugh, though
Heaven
knows it was no laughing matter--she saw her Stanley so seldom.
There were
glimpses, moments, breathing spaces of calm, but all the rest of
the time
it was like living in a house that couldn't be cured of the habit
of
catching on fire, on a ship that got wrecked every day. And it
was
always
Stanley who was in the thick of the danger. Her whole time was
spent in
rescuing him, and restoring him, and calming him down, and
listening
to his story. And what was left of her time was spent in the
dread of
having children. Linda
frowned; she sat up quickly in her steamer chair and clasped her
ankles.
Yes, that was her real grudge against life; that was what she
could not
understand. That was the question she asked and asked, and
listened
in vain for the answer. It was all very well to say it was the
common lot
of women to bear children. It wasn't true. She, for one,
could
prove that
wrong. She was broken, made weak, her courage was gone, through
child-bearing.
And what made it doubly hard to bear was, she did not love
her
children. It was useless pretending. Even if she had had
the strength
she never
would have nursed and played with the little girls. No, it was
as though
a cold breath had chilled her through and through on each of
those
awful journeys; she had no warmth left to give them. As to the
boy--
well,
thank Heaven, mother had taken him; he was mother's, or Beryl's, or
anybody's
who wanted him. She had hardly held him in her arms. She
was so
indifferent
about him that as he lay there...Linda glanced down. The boy
had turned over. He lay facing her, and he was no longer
asleep.
His
dark-blue, baby eyes were open; he looked as though he was peeping at
his
mother. And suddenly his face dimpled; it broke into a wide,
toothless
smile, a
perfect beam, no less. "I'm
here!" that happy smile seemed to say. "Why don't you
like me?" There was
something so quaint, so unexpected about that smile that Linda
smiled
herself. But she checked herself and said to the boy coldly, "I
don't like
babies." "Don't
like babies?" The boy couldn't believe her. "Don't
like me? " He
waved his
arms foolishly at his mother. Linda
dropped off her chair on to the grass. "Why
do you keep on smiling?" she said severely. "If you
knew what I was
thinking
about, you wouldn't." But he
only squeezed up his eyes, slyly, and rolled his head on the pillow.
He didn't
believe a word she said. "We
know all about that!" smiled the boy. Linda was
so astonished at the confidence of this little creature...Ah no,
be
sincere. That was not what she felt; it was something far
different, it
was
something so new, so...The tears danced in her eyes; she breathed in
a
small
whisper to the boy, "Hallo, my funny!" But by now
the boy had forgotten his mother. He was serious again.
Something
pink, something soft waved in front of him. He made a grab at
it
and it
immediately disappeared. But when he lay back, another, like
the
first,
appeared. This time he determined to catch it. He made a
tremendous
effort and rolled right over.
1.VII. The tide
was out; the beach was deserted; lazily flopped the warm sea.
The
sun beat
down, beat down hot and fiery on the fine sand, baking the grey
and blue
and black and white-veined pebbles. It sucked up the little
drop
of water
that lay in the hollow of the curved shells; it bleached the pink
convolvulus
that threaded through and through the sand-hills. Nothing
seemed to
move but the small sand-hoppers. Pit-pit-pit! They were
never
still. Over there
on the weed-hung rocks that looked at low tide like shaggy
beasts
come down to the water to drink, the sunlight seemed to spin like a
silver
coin dropped into each of the small rock pools. They danced,
they
quivered,
and minute ripples laved the porous shores. Looking down,
bending
over, each pool was like a lake with pink and blue houses
clustered
on the shores; and oh! the vast mountainous country behind those
houses--the
ravines, the passes, the dangerous creeks and fearful tracks
that led
to the water's edge. Underneath waved the sea-forest--pink
thread-like
trees, velvet anemones, and orange berry-spotted weeds. Now a
stone on
the bottom moved, rocked, and there was a glimpse of a black
feeler;
now a thread-like creature wavered by and was lost. Something
was
happening
to the pink, waving trees; they were changing to a cold moonlight
blue.
And now there sounded the faintest "plop." Who made
that sound?
What was
going on down there? And how strong, how damp the seaweed smelt
in the hot
sun... The green
blinds were drawn in the bungalows of the summer colony. Over
the
verandas, prone on the paddock, flung over the fences, there were
exhausted-looking
bathing-dresses and rough striped towels. Each back
window
seemed to have a pair of sand-shoes on the sill and some lumps of
rock or a
bucket or a collection of pawa shells. The bush quivered in a
haze of
heat; the sandy road was empty except for the Trouts' dog Snooker,
who lay
stretched in the very middle of it. His blue eye was turned up,
his legs
stuck out stiffly, and he gave an occasional desperate-sounding
puff, as
much as to say he had decided to make an end of it and was only
waiting
for some kind cart to come along. "What
are you looking at, my grandma? Why do you keep stopping and
sort of
staring at
the wall?" Kezia and
her grandmother were taking their siesta together. The little
girl,
wearing only her short drawers and her under-bodice, her arms and
legs bare,
lay on one of the puffed-up pillows of her grandma's bed, and
the old
woman, in a white ruffled dressing-gown, sat in a rocker at the
window,
with a long piece of pink knitting in her lap. This room that
they
shared,
like the other rooms of the bungalow, was of light varnished wood
and the
floor was bare. The furniture was of the shabbiest, the
simplest.
The
dressing-table, for instance, was a packing-case in a sprigged muslin
petticoat,
and the mirror above was very strange; it was as though a little
piece of
forked lightning was imprisoned in it. On the table there stood
a
jar of
sea-pinks, pressed so tightly together they looked more like a
velvet
pincushion, and a special shell which Kezia had given her grandma
for a
pin-tray, and another even more special which she had thought would
make a
very nice place for a watch to curl up in. "Tell
me, grandma," said Kezia. The old
woman sighed, whipped the wool twice round her thumb, and drew the
bone
needle through. She was casting on. "I
was thinking of your Uncle William, darling," she said quietly. "My
Australian Uncle William?" said Kezia. She had another.
"Yes,
of course." "The
one I never saw?" "That
was the one." "Well,
what happened to him?" Kezia knew perfectly well, but she
wanted to
be told
again. "He
went to the mines, and he got a sunstroke there and died," said
old
Mrs.
Fairfield. Kezia
blinked and considered the picture again...a little man fallen over
like a tin
soldier by the side of a big black hole. "Does
it make you sad to think about him, grandma?" She hated
her grandma
to be sad. It was the
old woman's turn to consider. Did it make her sad? To
look
back,
back. To stare down the years, as Kezia had seen her doing.
To look
after them
as a woman does, long after they were out of sight. Did it make
her sad?
No, life was like that. "No,
Kezia." "But
why?" asked Kezia. She lifted one bare arm and began to
draw things
in the
air. "Why did Uncle William have to die? He wasn't
old." Mrs.
Fairfield began counting the stitches in threes. "It just
happened,"
she said
in an absorbed voice. "Does
everybody have to die?" asked Kezia. "Everybody!" "Me?"
Kezia sounded fearfully incredulous. "Some
day, my darling." "But,
grandma." Kezia waved her left leg and waggled the toes.
They felt
sandy.
"What if I just won't?" The old
woman sighed again and drew a long thread from the ball. "We're
not asked, Kezia," she said sadly. "It happens to all
of us sooner
or later." Kezia lay
still thinking this over. She didn't want to die. It
meant she
would have
to leave here, leave everywhere, for ever, leave--leave her
grandma.
She rolled over quickly. "Grandma,"
she said in a startled voice. "What,
my pet!" "You're
not to die." Kezia was very decided. "Ah,
Kezia"--her grandma looked up and smiled and shook her
head--"don't
let's talk
about it." "But
you're not to. You couldn't leave me. You couldn't not be
there."
This was
awful. "Promise me you won't ever do it, grandma,"
pleaded Kezia. The old
woman went on knitting. "Promise
me! Say never!" But still
her grandma was silent. Kezia
rolled off her bed; she couldn't bear it any longer, and lightly she
leapt on
to her grandma's knees, clasped her hands round the old woman's
throat and
began kissing her, under the chin, behind the ear, and blowing
down her
neck. "Say
never...say never...say never--" She gasped between the kisses.
And
then she
began, very softly and lightly, to tickle her grandma.
"Kezia!"
The old woman dropped her knitting. She swung back in the
rocker.
She began to tickle Kezia. "Say never, say never, say
never,"
gurgled
Kezia, while they lay there laughing in each other's arms.
"Come,
that's
enough, my squirrel! That's enough, my wild pony!" said
old Mrs.
Fairfield,
setting her cap straight. "Pick up my knitting." Both of
them had forgotten what the "never" was about.
1.VIII. The sun
was still full on the garden when the back door of the Burnells'
shut with
a bang, and a very gay figure walked down the path to the gate.
It was
Alice, the servant-girl, dressed for her afternoon out. She
wore a
white
cotton dress with such large red spots on it and so many that they
made you
shudder, white shoes and a leghorn turned up under the brim with
poppies.
Of course she wore gloves, white ones, stained at the fastenings
with
iron-mould, and in one hand she carried a very dashed-looking
sunshade
which she
referred to as her "perishall."
Beryl,
sitting in the window, fanning her freshly-washed hair, thought she
had never
seen such a guy. If Alice had only blacked her face with a
piece
of cork
before she started out, the picture would have been complete.
And
where did
a girl like that go to in a place like this? The heart-shaped
Fijian fan
beat scornfully at that lovely bright mane. She supposed Alice
had picked
up some horrible common larrikin and they'd go off into the bush
together.
Pity to have made herself so conspicuous; they'd have hard work
to hide
with Alice in that rig-out. But no,
Beryl was unfair. Alice was going to tea with Mrs Stubbs, who'd
sent her
an "invite" by the little boy who called for orders.
She had
taken ever
such a liking to Mrs. Stubbs ever since the first time she went
to the
shop to get something for her mosquitoes. "Dear
heart!" Mrs. Stubbs had clapped her hand to her side.
"I never seen
anyone so
eaten. You might have been attacked by canningbals." Alice did
wish there'd been a bit of life on the road though. Made her
feel so
queer, having nobody behind her. Made her feel all weak in the
spine.
She couldn't believe that some one wasn't watching her. And yet
it
was silly
to turn round; it gave you away. She pulled up her gloves,
hummed to
herself and said to the distant gum-tree, "Shan't be long now."
But that
was hardly company. Mrs.
Stubbs's shop was perched on a little hillock just off the road.
It
had two
big windows for eyes, a broad veranda for a hat, and the sign on
the roof,
scrawled MRS. STUBBS'S, was like a little card stuck rakishly in
the hat
crown. On the
veranda there hung a long string of bathing-dresses, clinging
together
as though they'd just been rescued from the sea rather than
waiting to
go in, and beside them there hung a cluster of sandshoes so
extraordinarily
mixed that to get at one pair you had to tear apart and
forcibly
separate at least fifty. Even then it was the rarest thing to
find the
left that belonged to the right. So many people had lost
patience
and gone
off with one shoe that fitted and one that was a little too
big...Mrs.
Stubbs prided herself on keeping something of everything. The
two
windows, arranged in the form of precarious pyramids, were crammed so
tight,
piled so high, that it seemed only a conjurer could prevent them
from
toppling over. In the left-hand corner of one window, glued to
the
pane by
four gelatine lozenges, there was--and there had been from time
immemorial--a
notice. LOST!
HANSOME GOLE BROOCH
SOLID GOLD
ON OR NEAR
BEACH
REWARD
OFFERED Alice
pressed open the door. The bell jangled, the red serge curtains
parted,
and Mrs. Stubbs appeared. With her broad smile and the long
bacon
knife in
her hand, she looked like a friendly brigand. Alice was
welcomed
so warmly
that she found it quite difficult to keep up her "manners."
They
consisted
of persistent little coughs and hems, pulls at her gloves, tweaks
at her
skirt, and a curious difficulty in seeing what was set before her or
understanding
what was said. Tea was
laid on the parlour table--ham, sardines, a whole pound of butter,
and such a
large johnny cake that it looked like an advertisement for
somebody's
baking-powder. But the Primus stove roared so loudly that it
was
useless to try to talk above it. Alice sat down on the edge of
a
basket-chair
while Mrs. Stubbs pumped the stove still higher. Suddenly
Mrs.
Stubbs whipped the cushion off a chair and disclosed a large brown-
paper
parcel. "I've
just had some new photers taken, my dear," she shouted
cheerfully to
Alice.
"Tell me what you think of them." In a very
dainty, refined way Alice wet her finger and put the tissue back
from the
first one. Life! How many there were! There were
three dozzing
at least.
And she held it up to the light. Mrs.
Stubbs sat in an arm-chair, leaning very much to one side.
There was
a look of
mild astonishment on her large face, and well there might be.
For though
the arm-chair stood on a carpet, to the left of it, miraculously
skirting
the carpet-border, there was a dashing water-fall. On her right
stood a
Grecian pillar with a giant fern-tree on either side of it, and in
the
background towered a gaunt mountain, pale with snow. "It
is a nice style, isn't it?" shouted Mrs. Stubbs; and Alice had
just
screamed
"Sweetly" when the roaring of the Primus stove died down,
fizzled
out,
ceased, and she said "Pretty" in a silence that was
frightening. "Draw
up your chair, my dear," said Mrs. Stubbs, beginning to pour
out.
"Yes,"
she said thoughtfully, as she handed the tea, "but I don't care
about the
size. I'm having an enlargemint. All very well for
Christmas
cards, but
I never was the one for small photers myself. You get no
comfort
out of them. To say the truth, I find them dis'eartening." Alice
quite saw what she meant. "Size,"
said Mrs. Stubbs. "Give me size. That was what my
poor dear
husband
was always saying. He couldn't stand anything small. Gave
him the
creeps.
And, strange as it may seem, my dear"--here Mrs. Stubbs creaked
and seemed
to expand herself at the memory--"it was dropsy that carried him
off at the
larst. Many's the time they drawn one and a half pints from 'im
at the
'ospital...It seemed like a judgmint." Alice
burned to know exactly what it was that was drawn from him. She
ventured,
"I suppose it was water." But Mrs.
Stubbs fixed Alice with her eyes and replied meaningly, "It was
liquid, my
dear." Liquid!
Alice jumped away from the word like a cat and came back to it,
nosing and
wary. "That's
'im!" said Mrs. Stubbs, and she pointed dramatically to the
life-
size head
and shoulders of a burly man with a dead white rose in the
buttonhole
of his coat that made you think of a curl of cold mutting fat.
Just
below, in silver letters on a red cardboard ground, were the words,
"Be
not afraid, it is I." "It's
ever such a fine face," said Alice faintly. The
pale-blue bow on the top of Mrs. Stubbs's fair frizzy hair quivered.
She arched
her plump neck. What a neck she had! It was bright pink
where
it began
and then it changed to warm apricot, and that faded to the colour
of a brown
egg and then to a deep creamy. "All
the same, my dear," she said surprisingly, "freedom's
best!" Her
soft, fat
chuckle sounded like a purr. "Freedom's best," said
Mrs. Stubbs
again. Freedom!
Alice gave a loud, silly little titter. She felt awkward.
Her
mind flew
back to her own kitching. Ever so queer! She wanted to be
back
in it
again.
1.IX. A strange
company assembled in the Burnells' washhouse after tea. Round
the table
there sat a bull, a rooster, a donkey that kept forgetting it was
a donkey,
a sheep and a bee. The washhouse was the perfect place for such
a meeting
because they could make as much noise as they liked, and nobody
ever
interrupted. It was a small tin shed standing apart from the
bungalow.
Against the wall there was a deep trough and in the corner a
copper
with a basket of clothes-pegs on top of it. The little window,
spun
over with
cobwebs, had a piece of candle and a mouse-trap on the dusty
sill.
There were clotheslines criss-crossed overhead and, hanging from a
peg on the
wall, a very big, a huge, rusty horseshoe. The table was in the
middle
with a form at either side. "You
can't be a bee, Kezia. A bee's not an animal. It's a
ninseck." "Oh,
but I do want to be a bee frightfully," wailed Kezia...A tiny
bee, all
yellow-furry,
with striped legs. She drew her legs up under her and leaned
over the
table. She felt she was a bee. "A
ninseck must be an animal," she said stoutly. "It
makes a noise. It's
not like a
fish." "I'm
a bull, I'm a bull!" cried Pip. And he gave such a
tremendous bellow-
-how did
he make that noise?--that Lottie looked quite alarmed. "I'll
be a sheep," said little Rags. "A whole lot of sheep
went past this
morning." "How
do you know?" "Dad
heard them. Baa!" He sounded like the little lamb
that trots behind
and seems
to wait to be carried. "Cock-a-doodle-do!"
shrilled Isabel. With her red cheeks and bright eyes
she looked
like a rooster. "What'll
I be?" Lottie asked everybody, and she sat there smiling,
waiting
for them
to decide for her. It had to be an easy one. "Be a
donkey, Lottie." It was Kezia's suggestion.
"Hee-haw! You can't
forget
that." "Hee-haw!"
said Lottie solemnly. "When do I have to say it?" "I'll
explain, I'll explain," said the bull. It was he who had
the cards.
He waved
them round his head. "All be quiet! All listen!"
And he waited
for them.
"Look here, Lottie." He turned up a card. "It's
got two spots
on
it--see? Now, if you put that card in the middle and somebody
else has
one with
two spots as well, you say 'Hee-haw,' and the card's yours." "Mine?"
Lottie was round-eyed. "To keep?" "No,
silly. Just for the game, see? Just while we're
playing." The bull
was very
cross with her. "Oh,
Lottie, you are a little silly," said the proud rooster. Lottie
looked at both of them. Then she hung her head; her lip
quivered.
"I
don't want to play," she whispered. The others glanced at
one another
like
conspirators. All of them knew what that meant. She would
go away
and be
discovered somewhere standing with her pinny thrown over her head,
in a
corner, or against a wall, or even behind a chair. "Yes,
you do, Lottie. It's quite easy," said Kezia. And
Isabel, repentant, said exactly like a grown-up, "Watch me,
Lottie, and
you'll
soon learn." "Cheer
up, Lot," said Pip. "There, I know what I'll do.
I'll give you the
first
one. It's mine, really, but I'll give it to you. Here you
are."
And he
slammed the card down in front of Lottie. Lottie
revived at that. But now she was in another difficulty.
"I haven't
got a
hanky," she said; "I want one badly, too." "Here,
Lottie, you can use mine." Rags dipped into his sailor
blouse and
brought up
a very wet-looking one, knotted together. "Be very
careful," he
warned
her. "Only use that corner. Don't undo it.
I've got a little
starfish
inside I'm going to try and tame." "Oh,
come on, you girls," said the bull. "And mind--you're
not to look at
your
cards. You've got to keep your hands under the table till I say
'Go.'" Smack went
the cards round the table. They tried with all their might to
see, but
Pip was too quick for them. It was very exciting, sitting there
in the
washhouse; it was all they could do not to burst into a little
chorus of
animals before Pip had finished dealing. "Now,
Lottie, you begin." Timidly
Lottie stretched out a hand, took the top card off her pack, had a
good look
at it--it was plain she was counting the spots--and put it down.
"No,
Lottie, you can't do that. You mustn't look first. You
must turn it
the other
way over." "But
then everybody will see it the same time as me," said Lottie. The game
proceeded. Mooe-ooo-er! The bull was terrible. He
charged over
the table
and seemed to eat the cards up. Bss-ss!
said the bee. Cock-a-doodle-do!
Isabel stood up in her excitement and moved her elbows
like
wings. Baa!
Little Rags put down the King of Diamonds and Lottie put down the one
they
called the King of Spain. She had hardly any cards left. "Why
don't you call out, Lottie?" "I've
forgotten what I am," said the donkey woefully. "Well,
change! Be a dog instead! Bow-wow!" "Oh
yes. That's much easier." Lottie smiled again.
But when she and
Kezia both
had a one Kezia waited on purpose. The others made signs to
Lottie and
pointed. Lottie turned very red; she looked bewildered, and at
last she
said, "Hee-haw! Ke-zia." "Ss!
Wait a minute!" They were in the very thick of it when the
bull
stopped
them, holding up his hand. "What's that? What's that
noise?" "What
noise? What do you mean?" asked the rooster. "Ss!
Shut up! Listen!" They were mouse-still. "I
thought I heard a--a
sort of
knocking," said the bull. "What
was it like?" asked the sheep faintly. No answer. The bee
gave a shudder. "Whatever did we shut the door for?"
she said
softly.
Oh, why, why had they shut the door? While they
were playing, the day had faded; the gorgeous sunset had blazed
and died.
And now the quick dark came racing over the sea, over the sand-
hills, up
the paddock. You were frightened to look in the corners of the
washhouse,
and yet you had to look with all your might. And somewhere, far
away,
grandma was lighting a lamp. The blinds were being pulled down;
the
kitchen
fire leapt in the tins on the mantelpiece. "It
would be awful now," said the bull, "if a spider was to
fall from the
ceiling on
to the table, wouldn't it?" "Spiders
don't fall from ceilings." "Yes,
they do. Our Min told us she'd seen a spider as big as a
saucer,
with long
hairs on it like a gooseberry." Quickly
all the little heads were jerked up; all the little bodies drew
together,
pressed together. "Why
doesn't somebody come and call us?" cried the rooster. Oh, those
grown-ups, laughing and snug, sitting in the lamp-light, drinking
out of
cups! They'd forgotten about them. No, not really
forgotten. That
was what
their smile meant. They had decided to leave them there all by
themselves. Suddenly
Lottie gave such a piercing scream that all of them jumped off the
forms, all
of them screamed too. "A face--a face looking!"
shrieked
Lottie. It was
true, it was real. Pressed against the window was a pale face,
black
eyes, a black beard. "Grandma!
Mother! Somebody!" But they
had not got to the door, tumbling over one another, before it
opened for
Uncle Jonathan. He had come to take the little boys home.
1.X. He had
meant to be there before, but in the front garden he had come upon
Linda
walking up and down the grass, stopping to pick off a dead pink or
give a
top-heavy carnation something to lean against, or to take a deep
breath of
something, and then walking on again, with her little air of
remoteness.
Over her white frock she wore a yellow, pink-fringed shawl
from the
Chinaman's shop. "Hallo,
Jonathan!" called Linda. And Jonathan whipped off his
shabby
panama,
pressed it against his breast, dropped on one knee, and kissed
Linda's
hand. "Greeting,
my Fair One! Greeting, my Celestial Peach Blossom!" boomed
the
bass voice
gently. "Where are the other noble dames?" "Beryl's
out playing bridge and mother's giving the boy his bath...Have you
come to
borrow something?" The Trouts
were for ever running out of things and sending across to the
Burnells'
at the last moment. But
Jonathan only answered, "A little love, a little kindness;"
and he
walked by
his sister-in-law's side. Linda
dropped into Beryl's hammock under the manuka-tree, and Jonathan
stretched
himself on the grass beside her, pulled a long stalk and began
chewing
it. They knew each other well. The voices of children
cried from
the other
gardens. A fisherman's light cart shook along the sandy road,
and from
far away they heard a dog barking; it was muffled as though the
dog had
its head in a sack. If you listened you could just hear the
soft
swish of
the sea at full tide sweeping the pebbles. The sun was sinking. "And
so you go back to the office on Monday, do you, Jonathan?" asked
Linda. "On
Monday the cage door opens and clangs to upon the victim for another
eleven
months and a week," answered Jonathan. Linda
swung a little. "It must be awful," she said slowly. "Would
ye have me laugh, my fair sister? Would ye have me weep?" Linda was
so accustomed to Jonathan's way of talking that she paid no
attention
to it. "I
suppose," she said vaguely, "one gets used to it. One
gets used to
anything." "Does
one? Hum!" The "Hum" was so deep it seemed
to boom from underneath
the
ground. "I wonder how it's done," brooded Jonathan;
"I've never
managed
it." Looking at
him as he lay there, Linda thought again how attractive he was.
It was
strange to think that he was only an ordinary clerk, that Stanley
earned
twice as much money as he. What was the matter with Jonathan?
He
had no
ambition; she supposed that was it. And yet one felt he was
gifted,
exceptional.
He was passionately fond of music; every spare penny he had
went on
books. He was always full of new ideas, schemes, plans.
But
nothing
came of it all. The new fire blazed in Jonathan; you almost
heard
it roaring
softly as he explained, described and dilated on the new thing;
but a
moment later it had fallen in and there was nothing but ashes, and
Jonathan
went about with a look like hunger in his black eyes. At these
times he
exaggerated his absurd manner of speaking, and he sang in church--
he was the
leader of the choir--with such fearful dramatic intensity that
the
meanest hymn put on an unholy splendour. "It
seems to me just as imbecile, just as infernal, to have to go to the
office on
Monday," said Jonathan, "as it always has done and always
will
do.
To spend all the best years of one's life sitting on a stool from
nine
to five,
scratching in somebody's ledger! It's a queer use to make of
one's...one
and only life, isn't it? Or do I fondly dream?" He
rolled
over on
the grass and looked up at Linda. "Tell me, what is the
difference
between my
life and that of an ordinary prisoner. The only difference I
can see is
that I put myself in jail and nobody's ever going to let me out.
That's a
more intolerable situation than the other. For if I'd been--
pushed in,
against my will--kicking, even--once the door was locked, or at
any rate
in five years or so, I might have accepted the fact and begun to
take an
interest in the flight of flies or counting the warder's steps
along the
passage with particular attention to variations of tread and so
on.
But as it is, I'm like an insect that's flown into a room of its own
accord.
I dash against the walls, dash against the windows, flop against
the
ceiling, do everything on God's earth, in fact, except fly out again.
And all
the while I'm thinking, like that moth, or that butterfly, or
whatever
it is, 'The shortness of life! The shortness of life!'
I've only
one night
or one day, and there's this vast dangerous garden, waiting out
there,
undiscovered, unexplored." "But,
if you feel like that, why--" began Linda quickly. "Ah!"
cried Jonathan. And that "ah!" was somehow almost
exultant. "There
you have
me. Why? Why indeed? There's the maddening,
mysterious
question.
Why don't I fly out again? There's the window or the door or
whatever
it was I came in by. It's not hopelessly shut--is it? Why
don't
I find it
and be off? Answer me that, little sister." But he
gave her no
time to
answer. "I'm
exactly like that insect again. For some reason"--Jonathan
paused
between
the words--"it's not allowed, it's forbidden, it's against the
insect
law, to stop banging and flopping and crawling up the pane even for
an
instant. Why don't I leave the office? Why don't I
seriously consider,
this
moment, for instance, what it is that prevents me leaving? It's
not
as though
I'm tremendously tied. I've two boys to provide for, but, after
all,
they're boys. I could cut off to sea, or get a job up-country,
or--"
Suddenly
he smiled at Linda and said in a changed voice, as if he were
confiding
a secret, "Weak...weak. No stamina. No anchor.
No guiding
principle,
let us call it." But then the dark velvety voice rolled
out:" "Would
ye hear the story
How
it unfolds itself..." and they
were silent. The sun
had set. In the western sky there were great masses of
crushed-up
rose-coloured
clouds. Broad beams of light shone through the clouds and
beyond
them as if they would cover the whole sky. Overhead the blue
faded;
it turned
a pale gold, and the bush outlined against it gleamed dark and
brilliant
like metal. Sometimes when those beams of light show in the sky
they are
very awful. They remind you that up there sits Jehovah, the
jealous
God, the Almighty, Whose eye is upon you, ever watchful, never
weary.
You remember that at His coming the whole earth will shake into one
ruined
graveyard; the cold, bright angels will drive you this way and that,
and there
will be no time to explain what could be explained so
simply...But
to-night it seemed to Linda there was something infinitely
joyful and
loving in those silver beams. And now no sound came from the
sea.
It breathed softly as if it would draw that tender, joyful beauty
into its
own bosom. "It's
all wrong, it's all wrong," came the shadowy voice of Jonathan.
"It's
not the scene, it's not the setting for...three stools, three desks,
three
inkpots and a wire blind." Linda knew
that he would never change, but she said, "Is it too late, even
now?" "I'm
old--I'm old," intoned Jonathan. He bent towards her, he
passed his
hand over
his head. "Look!" His black hair was speckled
all over with
silver,
like the breast plumage of a black fowl. Linda was
surprised. She had no idea that he was grey. And yet, as
he
stood up
beside her and sighed and stretched, she saw him, for the first
time, not
resolute, not gallant, not careless, but touched already with
age.
He looked very tall on the darkening grass, and the thought crossed
her mind,
"He is like a weed." Jonathan
stooped again and kissed her fingers. "Heaven
reward thy sweet patience, lady mine," he murmured. "I
must go
seek those
heirs to my fame and fortune..." He was gone.
1.XI. Light
shone in the windows of the bungalow. Two square patches of
gold
fell upon
the pinks and the peaked marigolds. Florrie, the cat, came out
on to the
veranda, and sat on the top step, her white paws close together,
her tail
curled round. She looked content, as though she had been
waiting
for this
moment all day. "Thank
goodness, it's getting late," said Florrie. "Thank
goodness, the
long day
is over." Her greengage eyes opened. Presently
there sounded the rumble of the coach, the crack of Kelly's whip.
It came
near enough for one to hear the voices of the men from town,
talking
loudly together. It stopped at the Burnells' gate. Stanley
was half-way up the path before he saw Linda. "Is that
you,
darling?" "Yes,
Stanley." He leapt
across the flower-bed and seized her in his arms. She was
enfolded
in that familiar, eager, strong embrace. "Forgive
me, darling, forgive me," stammered Stanley, and he put his hand
under her
chin and lifted her face to him. "Forgive
you?" smiled Linda. "But whatever for?" "Good
God! You can't have forgotten," cried Stanley Burnell.
"I've
thought of
nothing else all day. I've had the hell of a day. I made
up my
mind to
dash out and telegraph, and then I thought the wire mightn't reach
you before
I did. I've been in tortures, Linda." "But,
Stanley," said Linda, "what must I forgive you for?" "Linda!"--Stanley
was very hurt--"didn't you realize--you must have
realized--I
went away without saying good-bye to you this morning? I can't
imagine
how I can have done such a thing. My confounded temper, of
course.
But--well"--and
he sighed and took her in his arms again--"I've suffered
for it
enough to-day." "What's
that you've got in your hand?" asked Linda. "New
gloves? Let me
see." "Oh,
just a cheap pair of wash-leather ones," said Stanley humbly.
"I
noticed
Bell was wearing some in the coach this morning, so, as I was
passing
the shop, I dashed in and got myself a pair. What are you
smiling
at?
You don't think it was wrong of me, do you?" "On
the con-trary, darling," said Linda, "I think it was most
sensible." She pulled
one of the large, pale gloves on her own fingers and looked at
her hand,
turning it this way and that. She was still smiling. Stanley
wanted to say, "I was thinking of you the whole time I bought
them."
It was true, but for some reason he couldn't say it. "Let's
go
in,"
said he.
1.XII. Why does
one feel so different at night? Why is it so exciting to be
awake
when
everybody else is asleep? Late--it is very late! And yet
every
moment you
feel more and more wakeful, as though you were slowly, almost
with every
breath, waking up into a new, wonderful, far more thrilling and
exciting
world than the daylight one. And what is this queer sensation
that
you're a conspirator? Lightly, stealthily you move about your
room.
You take
something off the dressing-table and put it down again without a
sound.
And everything, even the bed-post, knows you, responds, shares your
secret... You're not
very fond of your room by day. You never think about it.
You're in
and out, the door opens and slams, the cupboard creaks. You sit
down on
the side of your bed, change your shoes and dash out again. A
dive
down to
the glass, two pins in your hair, powder your nose and off again.
But
now--it's suddenly dear to you. It's a darling little funny
room.
It's
yours. Oh, what a joy it is to own things! Mine--my own! "My
very own for ever?" "Yes."
Their lips met. No, of
course, that had nothing to do with it. That was all nonsense
and
rubbish.
But, in spite of herself, Beryl saw so plainly two people
standing
in the middle of her room. Her arms were round his neck; he
held
her.
And now he whispered, "My beauty, my little beauty!"
She jumped off
her bed,
ran over to the window and kneeled on the window-seat, with her
elbows on
the sill. But the beautiful night, the garden, every bush,
every
leaf, even
the white palings, even the stars, were conspirators too. So
bright was
the moon that the flowers were bright as by day; the shadow of
the
nasturtiums, exquisite lily-like leaves and wide-open flowers, lay
across the
silvery veranda. The manuka-tree, bent by the southerly winds,
was like a
bird on one leg stretching out a wing. But when
Beryl looked at the bush, it seemed to her the bush was sad. "We
are dumb trees, reaching up in the night, imploring we know not
what,"
said the
sorrowful bush. It is true
when you are by yourself and you think about life, it is always
sad.
All that excitement and so on has a way of suddenly leaving you, and
it's as
though, in the silence, somebody called your name, and you heard
your name
for the first time. "Beryl!" "Yes,
I'm here. I'm Beryl. Who wants me?" "Beryl!" "Let
me come." It is
lonely living by oneself. Of course, there are relations,
friends,
heaps of
them; but that's not what she means. She wants some one who
will
find the
Beryl they none of them know, who will expect her to be that Beryl
always.
She wants a lover. "Take
me away from all these other people, my love. Let us go far
away.
Let us
live our life, all new, all ours, from the very beginning. Let
us
make our
fire. Let us sit down to eat together. Let us have long
talks at
night." And the
thought was almost, "Save me, my love. Save me!" ..."Oh,
go on! Don't be a prude, my dear. You enjoy yourself
while you're
young.
That's my advice." And a high rush of silly laughter
joined Mrs.
Harry
Kember's loud, indifferent neigh. You see,
it's so frightfully difficult when you've nobody. You're so at
the mercy
of things. You can't just be rude. And you've always this
horror of
seeming inexperienced and stuffy like the other ninnies at the
Bay.
And--and it's fascinating to know you've power over people.
Yes,
that is
fascinating... Oh why, oh
why doesn't "he" come soon? If I go on
living here, thought Beryl, anything may happen to me. "But
how do you know he is coming at all?" mocked a small voice
within her. But Beryl
dismissed it. She couldn't be left. Other people,
perhaps, but
not she.
It wasn't possible to think that Beryl Fairfield never married,
that
lovely fascinating girl. "Do
you remember Beryl Fairfield?" "Remember
her! As if I could forget her! It was one summer at the
Bay
that I saw
her. She was standing on the beach in a blue"--no, pink--
"muslin
frock, holding on a big cream"--no, black--"straw hat.
But it's
years ago
now." "She's
as lovely as ever, more so if anything." Beryl
smiled, bit her lip, and gazed over the garden. As she gazed,
she
saw
somebody, a man, leave the road, step along the paddock beside their
palings as
if he was coming straight towards her. Her heart beat.
Who was
it?
Who could it be? It couldn't be a burglar, certainly not a
burglar,
for he was
smoking and he strolled lightly. Beryl's heart leapt; it seemed
to turn
right over, and then to stop. She recognized him. "Good
evening, Miss Beryl," said the voice softly. "Good
evening." "Won't
you come for a little walk?" it drawled. Come for a
walk--at that time of night! "I couldn't.
Everybody's in bed.
Everybody's
asleep." "Oh,"
said the voice lightly, and a whiff of sweet smoke reached her.
"What
does everybody matter? Do come! It's such a fine night.
There's
not a soul
about." Beryl
shook her head. But already something stirred in her, something
reared its
head. The voice
said, "Frightened?" It mocked, "Poor little
girl!" "Not
in the least," said she. As she spoke that weak thing
within her
seemed to
uncoil, to grow suddenly tremendously strong; she longed to go! And just
as if this was quite understood by the other, the voice said,
gently and
softly, but finally, "Come along!" Beryl
stepped over her low window, crossed the veranda, ran down the grass
to the
gate. He was there before her. "That's
right," breathed the voice, and it teased, "You're not
frightened,
are you?
You're not frightened?" She was;
now she was here she was terrified, and it seemed to her
everything
was different. The moonlight stared and glittered; the shadows
were like
bars of iron. Her hand was taken. "Not
in the least," she said lightly. "Why should I be?" Her hand
was pulled gently, tugged. She held back. "No,
I'm not coming any farther," said Beryl. "Oh,
rot!" Harry Kember didn't believe her. "Come
along! We'll just go
as far as
that fuchsia bush. Come along!" The
fuchsia bush was tall. It fell over the fence in a shower.
There was
a little
pit of darkness beneath. "No,
really, I don't want to," said Beryl. For a
moment Harry Kember didn't answer. Then he came close to her,
turned
to her,
smiled and said quickly, "Don't be silly! Don't be silly!" His smile
was something she'd never seen before. Was he drunk? That
bright,
blind, terrifying smile froze her with horror. What was she
doing?
How had
she got here? the stern garden asked her as the gate pushed open,
and quick
as a cat Harry Kember came through and snatched her to him. "Cold
little devil! Cold little devil!" said the hateful voice. But Beryl
was strong. She slipped, ducked, wrenched free. "You
are vile, vile," said she. "Then
why in God's name did you come?" stammered Harry Kember. Nobody
answered him.
1.XIII. A cloud,
small, serene, floated across the moon. In that moment of
darkness
the sea sounded deep, troubled. Then the cloud sailed away, and
the sound
of the sea was a vague murmur, as though it waked out of a dark
dream.
All was still. And after
all the weather was ideal. They could not have had a more
perfect
day for a garden-party if they had ordered it. Windless, warm,
the
sky
without a cloud. Only the blue was veiled with a haze of light
gold,
as it is
sometimes in early summer. The gardener had been up since dawn,
mowing the
lawns and sweeping them, until the grass and the dark flat
rosettes
where the daisy plants had been seemed to shine. As for the
roses, you
could not help feeling they understood that roses are the only
flowers
that impress people at garden-parties; the only flowers that
everybody
is certain of knowing. Hundreds, yes, literally hundreds, had
come out
in a single night; the green bushes bowed down as though they had
been
visited by archangels. Breakfast
was not yet over before the men came to put up the marquee. "Where
do you want the marquee put, mother?" "My
dear child, it's no use asking me. I'm determined to leave
everything
to you
children this year. Forget I am your mother. Treat me as
an
honoured
guest." But Meg
could not possibly go and supervise the men. She had washed her
hair
before breakfast, and she sat drinking her coffee in a green turban,
with a
dark wet curl stamped on each cheek. Jose, the butterfly,
always
came down
in a silk petticoat and a kimono jacket. "You'll
have to go, Laura; you're the artistic one." Away Laura
flew, still holding her piece of bread-and-butter. It's so
delicious
to have an excuse for eating out of doors, and besides, she loved
having to
arrange things; she always felt she could do it so much better
than
anybody else. Four men
in their shirt-sleeves stood grouped together on the garden path.
They
carried staves covered with rolls of canvas, and they had big tool-
bags slung
on their backs. They looked impressive. Laura wished now
that
she had
not got the bread-and-butter, but there was nowhere to put it, and
she
couldn't possibly throw it away. She blushed and tried to look
severe
and even a
little bit short-sighted as she came up to them. "Good
morning," she said, copying her mother's voice. But that
sounded so
fearfully
affected that she was ashamed, and stammered like a little girl,
"Oh--er--have
you come--is it about the marquee?" "That's
right, miss," said the tallest of the men, a lanky, freckled
fellow,
and he shifted his tool-bag, knocked back his straw hat and smiled
down at
her. "That's about it." His smile
was so easy, so friendly that Laura recovered. What nice eyes
he
had,
small, but such a dark blue! And now she looked at the others,
they
were
smiling too. "Cheer up, we won't bite," their smile
seemed to say.
How very
nice workmen were! And what a beautiful morning! She
mustn't
mention
the morning; she must be business-like. The marquee. "Well,
what about the lily-lawn? Would that do?" And she
pointed to the lily-lawn with the hand that didn't hold the bread-
and-butter.
They turned, they stared in the direction. A little fat chap
thrust out
his under-lip, and the tall fellow frowned. "I
don't fancy it," said he. "Not conspicuous enough.
You see, with a
thing like
a marquee," and he turned to Laura in his easy way, "you
want to
put it
somewhere where it'll give you a bang slap in the eye, if you follow
me." Laura's
upbringing made her wonder for a moment whether it was quite
respectful
of a workman to talk to her of bangs slap in the eye. But she
did quite
follow him. "A
corner of the tennis-court," she suggested. "But the
band's going to be
in one
corner." "H'm,
going to have a band, are you?" said another of the workmen.
He was
pale.
He had a haggard look as his dark eyes scanned the tennis-court.
What was
he thinking? "Only
a very small band," said Laura gently. Perhaps he wouldn't
mind so
much if
the band was quite small. But the tall fellow interrupted. "Look
here, miss, that's the place. Against those trees. Over
there.
That'll do
fine." Against
the karakas. Then the karaka-trees would be hidden. And
they were
so lovely,
with their broad, gleaming leaves, and their clusters of yellow
fruit.
They were like trees you imagined growing on a desert island,
proud,
solitary, lifting their leaves and fruits to the sun in a kind of
silent
splendour. Must they be hidden by a marquee? They
must. Already the men had shouldered their staves and were
making for
the
place. Only the tall fellow was left. He bent down,
pinched a sprig
of
lavender, put his thumb and forefinger to his nose and snuffed up the
smell.
When Laura saw that gesture she forgot all about the karakas in her
wonder at
him caring for things like that--caring for the smell of
lavender.
How many men that she knew would have done such a thing? Oh,
how
extraordinarily nice workmen were, she thought. Why couldn't
she have
workmen
for her friends rather than the silly boys she danced with and who
came to
Sunday night supper? She would get on much better with men like
these. It's all
the fault, she decided, as the tall fellow drew something on the
back of an
envelope, something that was to be looped up or left to hang, of
these
absurd class distinctions. Well, for her part, she didn't feel
them.
Not a bit,
not an atom...And now there came the chock-chock of wooden
hammers.
Some one whistled, some one sang out, "Are you right there,
matey?"
"Matey!" The friendliness of it, the--the--Just to
prove how
happy she
was, just to show the tall fellow how at home she felt, and how
she
despised stupid conventions, Laura took a big bite of her bread-and-
butter as
she stared at the little drawing. She felt just like a work-
girl. "Laura,
Laura, where are you? Telephone, Laura!" a voice cried
from the
house. "Coming!"
Away she skimmed, over the lawn, up the path, up the steps,
across the
veranda, and into the porch. In the hall her father and Laurie
were
brushing their hats ready to go to the office. "I
say, Laura," said Laurie very fast, "you might just give a
squiz at my
coat
before this afternoon. See if it wants pressing." "I
will," said she. Suddenly she couldn't stop herself.
She ran at Laurie
and gave
him a small, quick squeeze. "Oh, I do love parties, don't
you?"
gasped
Laura. "Ra-ther,"
said Laurie's warm, boyish voice, and he squeezed his sister
too, and
gave her a gentle push. "Dash off to the telephone, old
girl." The
telephone. "Yes, yes; oh yes. Kitty? Good
morning, dear. Come to
lunch?
Do, dear. Delighted of course. It will only be a very
scratch
meal--just
the sandwich crusts and broken meringue-shells and what's left
over.
Yes, isn't it a perfect morning? Your white? Oh, I
certainly
should.
One moment--hold the line. Mother's calling." And
Laura sat
back.
"What, mother? Can't hear." Mrs.
Sheridan's voice floated down the stairs. "Tell her to
wear that
sweet hat
she had on last Sunday." "Mother
says you're to wear that sweet hat you had on last Sunday.
Good.
One
o'clock. Bye-bye." Laura put
back the receiver, flung her arms over her head, took a deep
breath,
stretched and let them fall. "Huh," she sighed, and
the moment
after the
sigh she sat up quickly. She was still, listening. All
the
doors in
the house seemed to be open. The house was alive with soft,
quick
steps and
running voices. The green baize door that led to the kitchen
regions
swung open and shut with a muffled thud. And now there came a
long,
chuckling absurd sound. It was the heavy piano being moved on
its
stiff
castors. But the air! If you stopped to notice, was the
air always
like
this? Little faint winds were playing chase, in at the tops of
the
windows,
out at the doors. And there were two tiny spots of sun, one on
the
inkpot, one on a silver photograph frame, playing too. Darling
little
spots.
Especially the one on the inkpot lid. It was quite warm.
A warm
little
silver star. She could have kissed it. The front
door bell pealed, and there sounded the rustle of Sadie's print
skirt on
the stairs. A man's voice murmured; Sadie answered, careless,
"I'm
sure I don't know. Wait. I'll ask Mrs Sheridan." "What
is it, Sadie?" Laura came into the hall. "It's
the florist, Miss Laura." It was,
indeed. There, just inside the door, stood a wide, shallow tray
full of
pots of pink lilies. No other kind. Nothing but
lilies--canna
lilies,
big pink flowers, wide open, radiant, almost frighteningly alive on
bright
crimson stems. "O-oh,
Sadie!" said Laura, and the sound was like a little moan.
She
crouched
down as if to warm herself at that blaze of lilies; she felt they
were in
her fingers, on her lips, growing in her breast. "It's
some mistake," she said faintly. "Nobody ever ordered
so many.
Sadie, go
and find mother." But at
that moment Mrs. Sheridan joined them. "It's
quite right," she said calmly. "Yes, I ordered them.
Aren't they
lovely?"
She pressed Laura's arm. "I was passing the shop
yesterday, and
I saw them
in the window. And I suddenly thought for once in my life I
shall have
enough canna lilies. The garden-party will be a good excuse." "But
I thought you said you didn't mean to interfere," said Laura.
Sadie
had gone.
The florist's man was still outside at his van. She put her arm
round her
mother's neck and gently, very gently, she bit her mother's ear. "My
darling child, you wouldn't like a logical mother, would you?
Don't do
that.
Here's the man." He carried
more lilies still, another whole tray. "Bank
them up, just inside the door, on both sides of the porch, please,"
said Mrs.
Sheridan. "Don't you agree, Laura?" "Oh,
I do, mother." In the
drawing-room Meg, Jose and good little Hans had at last succeeded in
moving the
piano. "Now,
if we put this chesterfield against the wall and move everything out
of the
room except the chairs, don't you think?" "Quite." "Hans,
move these tables into the smoking-room, and bring a sweeper to take
these
marks off the carpet and--one moment, Hans--" Jose loved giving
orders to
the servants, and they loved obeying her. She always made them
feel they
were taking part in some drama. "Tell mother and Miss
Laura to
come here
at once. "Very
good, Miss Jose." She turned
to Meg. "I want to hear what the piano sounds like, just
in
case I'm
asked to sing this afternoon. Let's try over 'This life is
Weary.'" Pom!
Ta-ta-ta Tee-ta! The piano burst out so passionately that
Jose's
face
changed. She clasped her hands. She looked mournfully and
enigmatically
at her mother and Laura as they came in. "This
Life is Wee-ary,
A
Tear--a Sigh.
A
Love that Chan-ges,
This Life is Wee-ary,
A
Tear--a Sigh.
A
Love that Chan-ges,
And
then ...Good-bye!" But at the
word "Good-bye," and although the piano sounded more
desperate
than ever,
her face broke into a brilliant, dreadfully unsympathetic smile. "Aren't
I in good voice, mummy?" she beamed. "This
Life is Wee-ary,
Hope
comes to Die.
A
Dream--a Wa-kening." But now
Sadie interrupted them. "What is it, Sadie?" "If
you please, m'm, cook says have you got the flags for the
sandwiches?" "The
flags for the sandwiches, Sadie?" echoed Mrs. Sheridan
dreamily. And
the
children knew by her face that she hadn't got them. "Let
me see." And
she said
to Sadie firmly, "Tell cook I'll let her have them in ten
minutes. Sadie
went. "Now,
Laura," said her mother quickly, "come with me into the
smoking-room.
I've got
the names somewhere on the back of an envelope. You'll have to
write them
out for me. Meg, go upstairs this minute and take that wet
thing off
your head. Jose, run and finish dressing this instant. Do
you
hear me,
children, or shall I have to tell your father when he comes home
to-night?
And--and, Jose, pacify cook if you do go into the kitchen, will
you?
I'm terrified of her this morning." The
envelope was found at last behind the dining-room clock, though how
it
had got
there Mrs. Sheridan could not imagine. "One
of you children must have stolen it out of my bag, because I remember
vividly--cream
cheese and lemon-curd. Have you done that?" "Yes." "Egg
and--" Mrs. Sheridan held the envelope away from her. "It
looks like
mice.
It can't be mice, can it?" "Olive,
pet," said Laura, looking over her shoulder. "Yes,
of course, olive. What a horrible combination it sounds.
Egg and
olive." They were
finished at last, and Laura took them off to the kitchen. She
found Jose
there pacifying the cook, who did not look at all terrifying. "I
have never seen such exquisite sandwiches," said Jose's
rapturous voice.
"How
many kinds did you say there were, cook? Fifteen?" "Fifteen,
Miss Jose." "Well,
cook, I congratulate you." Cook swept
up crusts with the long sandwich knife, and smiled broadly. "Godber's
has come," announced Sadie, issuing out of the pantry. She
had
seen the
man pass the window. That meant
the cream puffs had come. Godber's were famous for their cream
puffs.
Nobody ever thought of making them at home. "Bring
them in and put them on the table, my girl," ordered cook. Sadie
brought them in and went back to the door. Of course Laura and
Jose
were far
too grown-up to really care about such things. All the same,
they
couldn't
help agreeing that the puffs looked very attractive. Very.
Cook
began
arranging them, shaking off the extra icing sugar. "Don't
they carry one back to all one's parties?" said Laura. "I
suppose they do," said practical Jose, who never liked to be
carried
back.
"They look beautifully light and feathery, I must say." "Have
one each, my dears," said cook in her comfortable voice.
"Yer ma
won't
know." Oh,
impossible. Fancy cream puffs so soon after breakfast.
The very idea
made one
shudder. All the same, two minutes later Jose and Laura were
licking
their fingers with that absorbed inward look that only comes from
whipped
cream. "Let's
go into the garden, out by the back way," suggested Laura.
"I want
to see how
the men are getting on with the marquee. They're such awfully
nice men." But the
back door was blocked by cook, Sadie, Godber's man and Hans. Something
had happened. "Tuk-tuk-tuk,"
clucked cook like an agitated hen. Sadie had her hand
clapped to
her cheek as though she had toothache. Hans's face was screwed
up in the
effort to understand. Only Godber's man seemed to be enjoying
himself;
it was his story. "What's
the matter? What's happened?" "There's
been a horrible accident," said Cook. "A man killed." "A
man killed! Where? How? When?" But
Godber's man wasn't going to have his story snatched from under his
very nose. "Know
those little cottages just below here, miss?" Know them?
Of course,
she knew
them. "Well, there's a young chap living there, name of
Scott, a
carter.
His horse shied at a traction-engine, corner of Hawke Street this
morning,
and he was thrown out on the back of his head. Killed." "Dead!"
Laura stared at Godber's man. "Dead
when they picked him up," said Godber's man with relish.
"They were
taking the
body home as I come up here." And he said to the cook,
"He's
left a
wife and five little ones." "Jose,
come here." Laura caught hold of her sister's sleeve and
dragged
her
through the kitchen to the other side of the green baize door.
There
she paused
and leaned against it. "Jose!" she said, horrified,
"however
are we
going to stop everything?" "Stop
everything, Laura!" cried Jose in astonishment. "What
do you mean?" "Stop
the garden-party, of course." Why did Jose pretend? But Jose
was still more amazed. "Stop the garden-party? My
dear Laura,
don't be
so absurd. Of course we can't do anything of the kind.
Nobody
expects us
to. Don't be so extravagant." "But
we can't possibly have a garden-party with a man dead just outside
the
front
gate." That
really was extravagant, for the little cottages were in a lane to
themselves
at the very bottom of a steep rise that led up to the house. A
broad road
ran between. True, they were far too near. They were the
greatest
possible eyesore, and they had no right to be in that
neighbourhood
at all. They were little mean dwellings painted a chocolate
brown.
In the garden patches there was nothing but cabbage stalks, sick
hens and
tomato cans. The very smoke coming out of their chimneys was
poverty-stricken.
Little rags and shreds of smoke, so unlike the great
silvery
plumes that uncurled from the Sheridans' chimneys. Washerwomen
lived in
the lane and sweeps and a cobbler, and a man whose house-front was
studded
all over with minute bird-cages. Children swarmed. When
the
Sheridans
were little they were forbidden to set foot there because of the
revolting
language and of what they might catch. But since they were
grown
up, Laura
and Laurie on their prowls sometimes walked through. It was
disgusting
and sordid. They came out with a shudder. But still one
must
go
everywhere; one must see everything. So through they went. "And
just think of what the band would sound like to that poor woman,"
said
Laura. "Oh,
Laura!" Jose began to be seriously annoyed. "If
you're going to stop
a band
playing every time some one has an accident, you'll lead a very
strenuous
life. I'm every bit as sorry about it as you. I feel just
as
sympathetic."
Her eyes hardened. She looked at her sister just as she
used to
when they were little and fighting together. "You won't
bring a
drunken
workman back to life by being sentimental," she said softly. "Drunk!
Who said he was drunk?" Laura turned furiously on Jose.
She
said, just
as they had used to say on those occasions, "I'm going straight
up to tell
mother." "Do,
dear," cooed Jose. "Mother,
can I come into your room?" Laura turned the big glass
door-knob. "Of
course, child. Why, what's the matter? What's given you
such a
colour?"
And Mrs. Sheridan turned round from her dressing-table. She was
trying on
a new hat. "Mother,
a man's been killed," began Laura. "Not
in the garden?" interrupted her mother. "No,
no!" "Oh,
what a fright you gave me!" Mrs. Sheridan sighed with
relief, and
took off
the big hat and held it on her knees. "But
listen, mother," said Laura. Breathless, half-choking, she
told the
dreadful
story. "Of course, we can't have our party, can we?"
she pleaded.
"The
band and everybody arriving. They'd hear us, mother; they're
nearly
neighbours!" To Laura's
astonishment her mother behaved just like Jose; it was harder to
bear
because she seemed amused. She refused to take Laura seriously. "But,
my dear child, use your common sense. It's only by accident
we've
heard of
it. If some one had died there normally--and I can't understand
how they
keep alive in those poky little holes--we should still be having
our party,
shouldn't we?" Laura had
to say "yes" to that, but she felt it was all wrong.
She sat
down on
her mother's sofa and pinched the cushion frill. "Mother,
isn't it terribly heartless of us?" she asked. "Darling!"
Mrs. Sheridan got up and came over to her, carrying the hat.
Before
Laura could stop her she had popped it on. "My child!"
said her
mother,
"the hat is yours. It's made for you. It's much too
young for me.
I have
never seen you look such a picture. Look at yourself!"
And she
held up
her hand-mirror. "But,
mother," Laura began again. She couldn't look at herself;
she turned
aside. This time
Mrs. Sheridan lost patience just as Jose had done. "You
are being very absurd, Laura," she said coldly. "People
like that
don't
expect sacrifices from us. And it's not very sympathetic to
spoil
everybody's
enjoyment as you're doing now." "I
don't understand," said Laura, and she walked quickly out of the
room
into her
own bedroom. There, quite by chance, the first thing she saw
was
this
charming girl in the mirror, in her black hat trimmed with gold
daisies,
and a long black velvet ribbon. Never had she imagined she
could
look like
that. Is mother right? she thought. And now she hoped her
mother was
right. Am I being extravagant? Perhaps it was
extravagant.
Just for a
moment she had another glimpse of that poor woman and those
little
children, and the body being carried into the house. But it all
seemed
blurred, unreal, like a picture in the newspaper. I'll remember
it
again
after the party's over, she decided. And somehow that seemed
quite
the best
plan... Lunch was
over by half-past one. By half-past two they were all ready for
the fray.
The green-coated band had arrived and was established in a
corner of
the tennis-court. "My
dear!" trilled Kitty Maitland, "aren't they too like frogs
for words?
You ought
to have arranged them round the pond with the conductor in the
middle on
a leaf." Laurie
arrived and hailed them on his way to dress. At the sight of
him
Laura
remembered the accident again. She wanted to tell him. If
Laurie
agreed
with the others, then it was bound to be all right. And she
followed
him into the hall. "Laurie!" "Hallo!"
He was half-way upstairs, but when he turned round and saw Laura
he
suddenly puffed out his cheeks and goggled his eyes at her. "My
word,
Laura!
You do look stunning," said Laurie. "What an
absolutely topping
hat!" Laura said
faintly "Is it?" and smiled up at Laurie, and didn't tell
him
after all. Soon after
that people began coming in streams. The band struck up; the
hired
waiters ran from the house to the marquee. Wherever you looked
there
were
couples strolling, bending to the flowers, greeting, moving on over
the lawn.
They were like bright birds that had alighted in the Sheridans'
garden for
this one afternoon, on their way to--where? Ah, what happiness
it is to
be with people who all are happy, to press hands, press cheeks,
smile into
eyes. "Darling
Laura, how well you look!" "What
a becoming hat, child!" "Laura,
you look quite Spanish. I've never seen you look so striking." And Laura,
glowing, answered softly, "Have you had tea? Won't you
have an
ice?
The passion-fruit ices really are rather special." She ran
to her
father and
begged him. "Daddy darling, can't the band have something
to
drink?" And the
perfect afternoon slowly ripened, slowly faded, slowly its petals
closed. "Never
a more delightful garden-party ..." "The greatest
success ..."
"Quite
the most ..." Laura
helped her mother with the good-byes. They stood side by side
in the
porch till
it was all over. "All
over, all over, thank heaven," said Mrs. Sheridan. "Round
up the
others,
Laura. Let's go and have some fresh coffee. I'm
exhausted. Yes,
it's been
very successful. But oh, these parties, these parties!
Why will
you
children insist on giving parties!" And they all of them
sat down in
the
deserted marquee. "Have
a sandwich, daddy dear. I wrote the flag." "Thanks."
Mr. Sheridan took a bite and the sandwich was gone. He took
another.
"I suppose you didn't hear of a beastly accident that happened
to-day?"
he said. "My
dear," said Mrs. Sheridan, holding up her hand, "we did.
It nearly
ruined the
party. Laura insisted we should put it off." "Oh,
mother!" Laura didn't want to be teased about it. "It
was a horrible affair all the same," said Mr. Sheridan.
"The chap was
married
too. Lived just below in the lane, and leaves a wife and half a
dozen
kiddies, so they say." An awkward
little silence fell. Mrs. Sheridan fidgeted with her cup.
Really, it
was very tactless of father... Suddenly
she looked up. There on the table were all those sandwiches,
cakes,
puffs, all uneaten, all going to be wasted. She had one of her
brilliant
ideas. "I
know," she said. "Let's make up a basket. Let's
send that poor
creature
some of this perfectly good food. At any rate, it will be the
greatest
treat for the children. Don't you agree? And she's sure
to have
neighbours
calling in and so on. What a point to have it all ready
prepared.
Laura!" She jumped up. "Get me the big basket
out of the
stairs
cupboard." "But,
mother, do you really think it's a good idea?" said Laura. Again, how
curious, she seemed to be different from them all. To take
scraps
from their party. Would the poor woman really like that? "Of
course! What's the matter with you to-day? An hour or two
ago you
were
insisting on us being sympathetic, and now--"
Oh well!
Laura ran for the basket. It was filled, it was heaped by her
mother. "Take
it yourself, darling," said she. "Run down just as
you are. No,
wait, take
the arum lilies too. People of that class are so impressed by
arum
lilies." "The
stems will ruin her lace frock," said practical Jose. So they
would. Just in time. "Only the basket, then.
And, Laura!"--her
mother
followed her out of the marquee--"don't on any account--"
"What
mother?" No, better
not put such ideas into the child's head! "Nothing!
Run
along." It was
just growing dusky as Laura shut their garden gates. A big dog
ran
by like a
shadow. The road gleamed white, and down below in the hollow
the
little
cottages were in deep shade. How quiet it seemed after the
afternoon.
Here she was going down the hill to somewhere where a man lay
dead, and
she couldn't realize it. Why couldn't she? She stopped a
minute.
And it seemed to her that kisses, voices, tinkling spoons,
laughter,
the smell of crushed grass were somehow inside her. She had no
room for
anything else. How strange! She looked up at the pale
sky, and
all she
thought was, "Yes, it was the most successful party." Now the
broad road was crossed. The lane began, smoky and dark.
Women in
shawls and
men's tweed caps hurried by. Men hung over the palings; the
children
played in the doorways. A low hum came from the mean little
cottages.
In some of them there was a flicker of light, and a shadow,
crab-like,
moved across the window. Laura bent her head and hurried on.
She wished
now she had put on a coat. How her frock shone! And the
big
hat with
the velvet streamer--if only it was another hat! Were the
people
looking at
her? They must be. It was a mistake to have come; she
knew all
along it
was a mistake. Should she go back even now? No, too
late. This was the house. It must be. A dark knot
of people
stood
outside. Beside the gate an old, old woman with a crutch sat in
a
chair,
watching. She had her feet on a newspaper. The voices
stopped as
Laura drew
near. The group parted. It was as though she was
expected, as
though
they had known she was coming here. Laura was
terribly nervous. Tossing the velvet ribbon over her shoulder,
she said
to a woman standing by, "Is this Mrs. Scott's house?" and
the
woman,
smiling queerly, said, "It is, my lass." Oh, to be
away from this! She actually said, "Help me, God," as
she walked
up the
tiny path and knocked. To be away from those staring eyes, or
to be
covered up
in anything, one of those women's shawls even. I'll just leave
the basket
and go, she decided. I shan't even wait for it to be emptied. Then the
door opened. A little woman in black showed in the gloom. Laura
said, "Are you Mrs. Scott?" But to her horror the
woman answered,
"Walk
in please, miss," and she was shut in the passage. "No,"
said Laura, "I don't want to come in. I only want to leave
this
basket.
Mother sent--"
The little
woman in the gloomy passage seemed not to have heard her. "Step
this way,
please, miss," she said in an oily voice, and Laura followed
her. She found
herself in a wretched little low kitchen, lighted by a smoky
lamp.
There was a woman sitting before the fire. "Em,"
said the little creature who had let her in. "Em!
It's a young
lady."
She turned to Laura. She said meaningly, "I'm 'er sister,
miss.
You'll
excuse 'er, won't you?" "Oh,
but of course!" said Laura. "Please, please don't
disturb her. I--I
only want
to leave--"
But at
that moment the woman at the fire turned round. Her face,
puffed
up, red,
with swollen eyes and swollen lips, looked terrible. She seemed
as though
she couldn't understand why Laura was there. What did it mean?
Why was
this stranger standing in the kitchen with a basket? What was
it
all
about? And the poor face puckered up again. "All
right, my dear," said the other. "I'll thenk the
young lady." And again
she began, "You'll excuse her, miss, I'm sure," and her
face,
swollen
too, tried an oily smile. Laura only
wanted to get out, to get away. She was back in the passage.
The door
opened. She walked straight through into the bedroom, where the
dead man
was lying. "You'd
like a look at 'im, wouldn't you?" said Em's sister, and she
brushed
past Laura
over to the bed. "Don't be afraid, my lass,"--and now
her voice
sounded
fond and sly, and fondly she drew down the sheet--"'e looks a
picture.
There's nothing to show. Come along, my dear." Laura
came. There lay
a young man, fast asleep--sleeping so soundly, so deeply, that he
was far,
far away from them both. Oh, so remote, so peaceful. He
was
dreaming.
Never wake him up again. His head was sunk in the pillow, his
eyes were
closed; they were blind under the closed eyelids. He was given
up to his
dream. What did garden-parties and baskets and lace frocks
matter to
him? He was far from all those things. He was wonderful,
beautiful.
While they were laughing and while the band was playing, this
marvel had
come to the lane. Happy...happy...All is well, said that
sleeping
face. This is just as it should be. I am content. But all
the same you had to cry, and she couldn't go out of the room
without
saying something to him. Laura gave a loud childish sob. "Forgive
my hat," she said. And this
time she didn't wait for Em's sister. She found her way out of
the door,
down the path, past all those dark people. At the corner of the
lane she
met Laurie. He stepped
out of the shadow. "Is that you, Laura?" "Yes." "Mother
was getting anxious. Was it all right?" "Yes,
quite. Oh, Laurie!" She took his arm, she pressed up
against him. "I
say, you're not crying, are you?" asked her brother. Laura
shook her head. She was. Laurie put
his arm round her shoulder. "Don't cry," he said in
his warm,
loving
voice. "Was it awful?" "No,"
sobbed Laura. "It was simply marvellous. But
Laurie--" She
stopped,
she looked at her brother. "Isn't life," she
stammered, "isn't
life--"
But what life was she couldn't explain. No matter. He
quite
understood. "Isn't
it, darling?" said Laurie. 3.
THE DAUGHTERS OF THE LATE COLONEL.
3.I. The week
after was one of the busiest weeks of their lives. Even when
they
went to
bed it was only their bodies that lay down and rested; their minds
went on,
thinking things out, talking things over, wondering, deciding,
trying to
remember where... Constantia
lay like a statue, her hands by her sides, her feet just
overlapping
each other, the sheet up to her chin. She stared at the
ceiling. "Do
you think father would mind if we gave his top-hat to the porter?" "The
porter?" snapped Josephine. "Why ever the porter?
What a very
extraordinary
idea!" "Because,"
said Constantia slowly, "he must often have to go to funerals.
And I
noticed at--at the cemetery that he only had a bowler."
She paused.
"I
thought then how very much he'd appreciate a top-hat. We ought
to give
him a
present, too. He was always very nice to father." "But,"
cried Josephine, flouncing on her pillow and staring across the dark
at
Constantia, "father's head!" And suddenly, for one
awful moment, she
nearly
giggled. Not, of course, that she felt in the least like
giggling.
It must
have been habit. Years ago, when they had stayed awake at night
talking,
their beds had simply heaved. And now the porter's head,
disappearing,
popped out, like a candle, under father's hat...The giggle
mounted,
mounted; she clenched her hands; she fought it down; she frowned
fiercely
at the dark and said "Remember" terribly sternly. "We
can decide to-morrow," she said. Constantia
had noticed nothing; she sighed. "Do
you think we ought to have our dressing-gowns dyed as well?" "Black?"
almost shrieked Josephine. "Well,
what else?" said Constantia. "I was thinking--it
doesn't seem quite
sincere,
in a way, to wear black out of doors and when we're fully dressed,
and then
when we're at home--"
"But
nobody sees us," said Josephine. She gave the bedclothes
such a
twitch
that both her feet became uncovered, and she had to creep up the
pillows to
get them well under again. "Kate
does," said Constantia. "And the postman very well
might." Josephine
thought of her dark-red slippers, which matched her dressing-
gown, and
of Constantia's favourite indefinite green ones which went with
hers.
Black! Two black dressing-gowns and two pairs of black woolly
slippers,
creeping off to the bathroom like black cats. "I
don't think it's absolutely necessary," said she. Silence.
Then Constantia said, "We shall have to post the papers with the
notice in
them to-morrow to catch the Ceylon mail...How many letters have
we had up
till now?" "Twenty-three." Josephine
had replied to them all, and twenty-three times when she came to
"We
miss our dear father so much" she had broken down and had to use
her
handkerchief,
and on some of them even to soak up a very light-blue tear
with an
edge of blotting-paper. Strange! She couldn't have put it
on--but
twenty-three
times. Even now, though, when she said over to herself sadly
"We
miss our dear father so much," she could have cried if she'd
wanted to. "Have
you got enough stamps?" came from Constantia. "Oh,
how can I tell?" said Josephine crossly. "What's the
good of asking
me that
now?" "I
was just wondering," said Constantia mildly. Silence
again. There came a little rustle, a scurry, a hop. "A
mouse," said Constantia. "It
can't be a mouse because there aren't any crumbs," said
Josephine. "But
it doesn't know there aren't," said Constantia. A spasm of
pity squeezed her heart. Poor little thing! She wished
she'd
left a
tiny piece of biscuit on the dressing-table. It was awful to
think
of it not
finding anything. What would it do? "I
can't think how they manage to live at all," she said slowly. "Who?"
demanded Josephine. And
Constantia said more loudly than she meant to, "Mice." Josephine
was furious. "Oh, what nonsense, Con!" she said.
"What have
mice got
to do with it? You're asleep." "I
don't think I am," said Constantia. She shut her eyes to
make sure.
She was. Josephine
arched her spine, pulled up her knees, folded her arms so that
her fists
came unde